


Tyler's Secret Weapon

by Redcognito



Category: Vampire Diaries - L. J. Smith
Genre: Alternate Scene, Crack, Gen, Underwear, inappropriate use of leopard-print
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-22
Updated: 2012-01-22
Packaged: 2017-10-29 23:06:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/325174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redcognito/pseuds/Redcognito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short rewrite of the axe scene in Dark Reunion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tyler's Secret Weapon

"All we have to do is relieve him of one of his members," Bonnie agreed.

"I can think of one right off," Meredith said under her breath.

Nodding for Bonnie to get a firm grip on the bottom of Tyler's pants, Meredith reached down and snapped open the button of his jeans, and pulled the zip down forcefully.

Her eyes widened in sudden horror as she caught a brief glimpse of what was underneath. "Bonnie, no!" she yelled. But it was too late. Bonnie had yanked Tyler's pants clean off of him, exposing something so hideous that they were unable to tear their gazes away.

"My... god..." Stefan whispered, swallowing hard, the axe he'd been holding falling forgotten to the floor.

"That has to be the most frightening thing I've ever seen in my entire life," Matt said, blinking repeatedly.

Bonnie simply fainted.

A slow, malicious grin crept over Tyler's face. "Ah ha ah ha ah ha! Fear my secret weapon!" he crowed, wriggling his lower body about, blinding everyone with his vile leopard-print jockstrap.

"Stop! Stop!" Meredith screamed, shaken to the core.

"Never!" Tyler laughed, bouncing around some more.

"Stefan, for god's sake, untie him!" Matt yelled, "It's the only way to escape this horror! We have to let him go!"

Stefan wasted no time, ripping the nylon cord from Tyler, freeing him from his bonds. The werewolf leaped up, dashing off into the night, his pants fluttering around his legs.

"Ah ha ah ha ah ha!" Tyler's manic laughter faded into the distance.

"Well. I think that worked out for the best," Stefan said, attempting to shield his eyes from Tyler's backside.

"What did I miss?" Bonnie groaned, slowly coming to.

"Nothing much." Matt reached down and banged her head against the floor, knocking her out again. "I think I prefer her unconscious."

"She certainly is quieter," Stefan agreed.

"Why didn't I think of that sooner?" Meredith shook her head, staring down at the psychic.

Stefan, Matt and Meredith made their way home, leaving Bonnie sprawled unconscious in the ruined church.


End file.
